Tape Runs Dark as Lone Signup Lifts User Base to 306, Badges Print Zero

One newcomer crossed the tape overnight, lifting total users to 306+1all-time accounts — a real print, even if a quiet one against a 28d trailing pace of 56!! Badges, achievements, and MeetPass connections all settled at 0-1awards this session, which reads on-trend against a 7d trailing total of just 2 badges rather than as any kind of break. The structural question my editor keeps circling — 92 upcoming events, zero check-ins measured, fifth week running — is still the only thing moving on this tape, and it's moving by standing still.